Gondwanaland Joins Belt & Road Initiative
Gondwanaland has become the latest continent to join China’s Belt & Road Initiative. The country, which is often described as a “super continent” has an ancient history dating back to the Triassic period. Today it is best recognised for its role as a movie set in the “Jurassic Park” films.
Gondwanaland’s President, Mr. Neander Thal, has decided to cast his continent into the realms of the Belt & Road after severing diplomatic ties with neighboring Panagea.
Gondwanaland is composed of the major continental blocks of South America, Africa, Arabia, Madagascar, Sri Lanka, India, Antarctica, and Australia. It covers an area of some 100,000,000 km2 (39,000,000 sq mi), about one-fifth of the Earth’s surface, and has a GDP of some US$400 trillion dollars. Gondwanaland’s population is about 14.
“We need serious educational support for our native Neoproterozoic peoples”, said Thal, “while fighting off dinosaurs remains a huge problem.”
Critics of China’s Belt & Road have suggested that the Gondwanaland move is actually aimed at splitting the continent apart so they could later rejoin them all at great cost with bridges and tunnels and saddle the continent with debt mountains of cowrie shells, a charge Thal denies.
US President Trump has stated in a press conference that “Gondwanaland’s decision to join China’s Belt & Road Initiative is regrettable. We will be reviewing our options and they can go to the back of the queue when its comes to a trade deal. Meanwhile, our trade advisers are coming up with a sanctions plan. Gondwanaland has infiltrated the global market in prehistoric guano and we cannot have such supplies interfere with our military capabilities. And when I’m talking guano I am talking huge amounts of guano. Gondwanaland must pay!”
“We need assistance from China” Thal stated “The collision with South America, Africa and the addition of Australia and Antarctica, respectively has necessitated a new approach to continental trade. We remain steadfast in our resolve that Gondwanaland will always remain a completely sovereign nation. What’s that cracking sound?”
Gondwanaland Fast Facts
Main Exports: Dinosaurs, Continental Drift, Conifer Trees
Main Imports: Oceans, Plate Tectonics
RMB Exchange Rate: 1 RMB Yuan = 40,000 Cowrie Shells / 1 tonne Velociraptor poo.
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